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Page 99,
in which
Monkeys May Fly Out of One Candidate's Butt,
but it's
"LIES! All LIES!!!"
September 5, 2008
The inspiration for this Blog came from a Thursday late night conversation with Rich and me talking about all the B.S. out there in politics...
NOTE: I am a true independent, with no allegiance to the Dems or the Repubbies...
We have a couple of interesting candidates on our hands. But 'tis the season! The season when the political parties hole up in their kitchens mixing up giant batches of ridiculous but ridiculously delicious fibs. They mix and they stir, then add LOTS of spice for extra flavor -- and this year, it's a bumper crop! Both parties are paying people a LOT of money to keep you polarized against the other candidate. Remember Frau Farbissima from the Austin Powers movies? Here is her commentary on the current abundant political rhetoric...
Obama is a Muslim!! He doesn't salute the flag! He'll be the biggest taxer/spender in history!
McCain is mentally ill from being a POW! He is a serial skirt chaser! He wants to hurt the poor!
Folks. These guys have some big differences, but let's remember that a bellyfull of ridiculous fibs is fattening (it will eventually turn your head to mush) and just plain silly. I have a friend who is CONVINCED Obama is secretly a Muslim who wants to lead the United States into... "Muslimdom," I suppose. "Are you scared of monkeys flying out of McCain's butt?" I asked him. "Because using the same logic, you should be scared of that."
My Father is a devout Southern Baptist and I grew up that way; I am not a Southern Baptist. Just because Obama's father, whom he met once, was a Muslim, does that mean that monkeys are going to fly out of McCain's rear end? According to this limp-headed logic, the answer is yes. Yes, there are ridiculous fibs going around about both candidates, although objectively (and as measured by numerous non-partisan sources) the Repubbies clearly are ahead in the fib department. The thing with these fibs, you see, is that "it helps you win."
Trying to separate fact from fiction, I've figured out that you cannot rely on your political party to give you facts about the other. It's sort of like listening to one side in a bitter divorce battle. If you only study one side, you can be sure your pantry is going to be FULL of at least 50% Fibs. Fibulicious!
